State of the Nice Guys Union Address...We attract, or are attracted to, the wrong kind of girls. But you do not deserve us. And you know this. Show us respect. Do not use us as a temporary spot between badasses. Do not come to use after your last relationship just because we're different if you still love him and want to be with him again. Do not use us as a sexless entities unless you make it completely clear, stating it on every available occasion, so we always know and never forget.
We are not changing for you. You will of course claim you do not wish us to change, since we are ideally what you want. Do not insult our intelligence. Do not claim you want us when you know full well you do not. We are not changing for you, but we may become angry. Even bitter for a while. Know that, yes, it IS your fault. (see? I'm bitter right now!)
Never, NEVER, EEEEEEEVER give us the "you'll meet the right person speach". We know. Do not insult our intelligence. We are fully aware of the number of women we capable of having, and when it comes to purely sex, we might have no trouble at all, depending on how "not nice" we feel for that short period of time. We prefer to set a higher standard for ourselves. Often times, those who meet the standard do not like us for the right reasons. We do bring it on ourselves, but you should either know better or show us the same respect we have shown you.
I had more to say, but I'm tired of sounding pretencious. Point is, I had to watch Mike go through another shitty heartbreak because he's "too nice". Think about it. He has to be hurt because of a GOOD QUALITY. No one who hasn't date Mike ever said "Mike you need to be an asshole", so why would the girls who have dated him and broke his heart? It's ridiculous. And you know this.
As for me... well I'm an enigma, arn't I? Maybe I just posses the wrong qualities for everyone. I have that untrusting outter shell that causes me to come off as aroggant and sometimes mean. So no one ever sees a nice guy on first encounter. But for those who arn't looking for the nice guy might stick around and eventually crack that shell. But oh wait... under that shell is the nice guy. Damn. Goodbye.
Luckily, I have some charm. Charm can make people forget their preferance for nice or not nice, but only temporarily. This is why I claim that I will never sleep with someone who's known me for too long. Charm wears off and they see the qualities they don't want in me. If it wasn't for charm, I think the only person I would have slept with is Myah. That was alcohol.
Thank God for alcohol.
-Kevin, nice guy, finishing last since 1981
