Uncanny X-Men #153 (Jan 82): Kitty's Fairy TaleCreative Team: Chris Claremont, writer; Dave Cockrum & Josef Rubinstein, artists; Glynis Wein, colorist; Tom Orzechowski, letterer; Louis Jones, editor; Jim Shooter, editor-in-chief
Starting Line Up: Storm, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Colossus, Sprite
Guest Star: Carol Danvers
Synopsis: The X-Men are repairing the mansion after the battle with the Hellfire Club. The Danger Room (again), the main computer, and a whole wing of the house were totally destroyed, and there is minimal damage to the hangar and Blackbird. With money on short supply, the X-Men have to rebuild everything themselves. Kitty calls Colossus inside to tuck his little sister, Illyana, in to bed. Illyana asks if Kitty will tell her a bedtime story, and we begin...
The Players: Kitty Pryde as Pirate Kitty; Peter Rasputin as Colossus, her true love; Scott Summers as the Noble Prince; Charles Xavier as the Wizard; Ororo (Storm) as the Genie; Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) as (under protest) a Bamf; Logan (Wolverine) as the Fiend With No Name; the SR-71 "Blackbird" as Lockheed the Dragon; Jean Grey (Phoenix) as the Enchanted Princess
Kitty and Colossus are two pirates that rob from the rich and give to the poor. On one of their adventures, they find the Prince and the Wizard (who rides a flying carpet all the time) being attacked by thieves. When the Prince's blindfold is removed, optic blasts shoot from his eyes, so the thieves intend to kill him. But he's rescued by Kitty and Colossus. The Wizard explains they are searching for the Prince's bride-to-be who has come under an enchantment making her the Dark Phoenix. She attakcs them at the moment. The Wizard tries to change her back with crsytal containing her soul (the globe Lilandra gave Jean's parents), but she flees. Kitty calls forth Lockheed (who speaks like Banshee) to help them find Phoenix. Meanwhile, Nightcrawler is easedropping on the story and laughing. He gets Wolverine to join him. Back in the story, Lockheed wants to stop for a rest on an island. While exploring the island, Kitty finds a Bamf Picture a really horny Pokemon. The Bamf falls in love with her and starts following her. Meanwhile, Wolverine gets Storm and Carol Danvers to listen in as well. Colossus walks along the beach and finds a bottle. He opens it to reveal a Genie. The Genie was imprissoned by Dark Phoenix and agrees to help the team. Before they can leave, they're attacked by the Fiend With No Name (picture Taz smoking a stogie and drinking a beer). Meanwhile, Nightcrawler laughs at Wolverine, while Cyclops and Xavier join everyone listening. The Fiend wants to fight the Prince since he stole the princess away from him. Colossus steps in to fight him, but Fiend is easily scared by Lockheed and he decides to join as well. They eventually find Dark Phoenix and the Genie and the Wizard attack. Kitty tries to make Lockheed go faster, but he refuses, so Fiend digs his claws in. Instead they all fall off the dragon. The Genie gives everyone wings so they can fly. Lockheed comes after Fiend and knocks him with his tail into Dark Phoenix. This gives the Wizard time to change her back. This somehow cures the Prince's eyes. The Prince and Princess get married and live happily ever after. Kitty is then suddenly aware that everyone has been listening to her, but they all enjoyed the story.
Yeah, but is it good? It's certainly different. It's not a bad story, but after reading it I couldn't help but ask "What's the point?" This is the kind of stuff that belongs in the annuals. Fun "extra" stories, but nothing important to the overall series. It is fun seeing Claremont parody his own characters, especially the super horny Nightcrawler. Illyana's presence does bring up a couple of questions. Supposedly, she's been living with the X-Men since she was rescued from Arcade. Who was looking after her went the X-Men went off to fight Magneto? Where was she the last two issues when the Hellfire Club attacked the mansion? Maybe I'm just nitpicking.
Significata: The first "fairy tale" issue (a couple more will come eventually). The mansion is still ruined quite bad. The first time Kitty uses the name Lockheed for anything. The price of the comic raises to 60 cents.
